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Laurie Markvart's Diary

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Change. Embrace It? Steer It? Challenge It? or Just Get the Hell out of the Way. You Do Have a Choice.

I’m going through some changes and trying to figure stuff out. Yup, me and every one of you is too. Daily. Big ones, small ones. But let’s keep this about me. Okay, kidding. Yes, this is for all of us. But I need to talk about my quest to understand change and then if it resonates with you…please throw it back to me with a comment, and by all means, give me a great quote on change ’cause if I know one thing…there are never enough quotes on the subject!

If you Google “sayings about change” you have 20,500,000 results to play with. Goodreads alone has 4,597 quotes. There are pages dedicated to “awesome quotes,” “life changing quotes,” “inspiring quotes” and naturally they are supportive and positive. I didn’t find too many pages on “nasty quotes” or “go f yourself quotes” or “you suck quotes.” Those would actually be quite funny. Please share if you’ve found some!

Quotes about change are meant to uplift and elevate you and by all means…make you feel you are not alone. And sometimes they do ’cause you think okay…if someone else is saying it they must be feeling it too. And they probably are but, when it comes to you and your experience just like me and mine…we are alone on the deepest level when it comes to change. A quote ain’t gonna get you out of it. It might make you think differently or approach it differently which is great but believe me…no one is holding your hand. More on that debilitating thought in a second…

During my Google search, I must admit the one page I clicked on was “30 Famous Quotes About Change” because if ecosalon.com has narrowed it down to thirty, they’ve done the work for all of us! Of course, quotes are from famous poets, writers, philosophers, even Confucius! I mean if Confucius said: They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom. Well, we must concur, yes? I mean, I’m not going to question Confucius. Actually, there are some lovely quotes within the 30 but by the time I got to the bottom of the page to the last quote by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow – For, after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain. I thought…oh hell, really?!  I didn’t realize we had an option on rain?! But yes, I get the metaphor. And it’s true! But after that, I decided enough of the quotes. As well, I was then distracted by what came next on ecosalon’s page:  ALSO CHECK THESE OUT: 30 Best Quotes About Sex. I was SO curious, but I did NOT click and go down that rabbit hole. But if YOU want to, here’s the page: http://ecosalon.com/30-best-quotes-on-change/

Okay, back to change and my debilitating comment about how we are alone on the deepest level when it comes to change. But you see, it’s not debilitating nor sad but actually kinda cool if approached openly, and no I’m not going to provide a quote here. Just state my own feelings…if we understand that change is not necessarily about what has happened but how we react to it and that we are the masters and in the driver’s seat (you can only have ONE driver) then we have a choice. The choice is not the change itself but how we react to it. Because even if we make the change…we still need to respond to it! And that is what it’s all about.

Change can come like a nasty curveball. I can decide to dodge it, get hit by it (not always a choice) or catch it and throw the damn thing back. I own how I react to change. And yes, change can also be the most blessed warm and lovely moment in life in which YOU chose to make. But you still must react to it! In my life, many times I’ve wanted change. I chose love, I chose to have a baby (talk about a change! And the two people involved (yes, we who “made” said baby)…we both reacted differently to that change!), I chose to make a significant career change. These are all beautiful things, and they changed me, and I continue to react to them!

But in stark comparison to the beautiful changes, I’ve also had some nasty curveballs. I didn’t choose to lose a baby (not the same one mentioned above!), lose my parents or lose my marriage or endure heartbreak in which I thought I would never recover. THESE are the life altering ones that over the years started my quest for quotes on change; change that is so large it shifts your consciousness and total being. But I realized with each quote I found they filled my head with words but made only a small dent on my heart. Maybe if I read more quotes, it would fill my heart? No, what I realized is I need to start reacting to the change and take action. Make a choice. While I’m alone on “my” journey, reading quotes, reaching out to friends, writing music, loving and being loved and talking it out…all help. But the most assistance is to recognize I am in the driver’s seat and I can make a choice on how I REACT to all the changes. With that knowledge, I feel a lot better. I’m not a victim, nor a victor. I am the navigator.

So, thank you, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. I may not be able to stop the rain, but I learned I can choose to find an umbrella or say screw it…I’m going to dance in the rain.

Valentine’s Day from a Different Perspective…How Do They Make You Feel? What’s It Feel like to Love Someone? It’s a Challenge I Give to You…

Ah…Valentine’s Day. It’s the day held aside to celebrate love. Most especially for lovers. If anything it’s dominated by lovers. With media and retail targeting lovers to buy the largest bouquet of roses or candies or a giant stuffed bear, to prove how much you love someone. Well, I call total bullshit on all of it. There is far more to love than an expression of a store-bought card or flowers, set aside for one day.

And no, I’m not at a loss because I did not receive flowers today or something related to Valentines. I have a guy who fills my life with so much love on the daily that I would feel overindulged if he caved to the marketing schemes. I know how much we love each other…we live it and share it all the other 364 days.

NOW, if you did receive flowers or an expression of love from your lover or someone you care about-beautiful and ENJOY! But, I challenge all of you to this…look around and take notice that Valentine’s Day is not just for lovers and store bought cards and dinner reservations. It is being loved and for loving. Loving your parents, your siblings, your friends, your co-workers, your family, your neighbor, whoever is important to you and of course…YOURSELF. The hardest one of all!

But that’s not just it – HOW DOES THEIR LOVE MAKE YOU FEEL? And HOW DOES YOUR LOVE MAKE THEM FEEL? The words I LOVE YOU are sometimes not enough to truly express how you totally feel. And sometimes they are the hardest words to say.

Years ago I wrote a song called I WANT TO TELL YOU. I wanted to tell someone I loved them but I couldn’t muster up the courage to simply say I love you. The words seemed too heavy, too bold, too exposing. So, I decided instead to write a song (as all songwriters do), describing how their love makes me feel. Listen below if you’d like. If it inspires you to tell someone how their love makes you feel…AWESOME!

So, people…just love and share and don’t let the f’n media or advertisers make you feel like shit about this day. Feel empowered. It’s meant for love on all levels. Let those you love know how their love makes you feel. And btw…if you’ve read this far…I love you. You make me feel humbled and happy!

xo, L

I WANT TO TELL YOU by Laurie Markvart

I never thought I’d struggle to say
Such tempting words
At times they just seem empty
At times they mean the world

Chorus:
I want to tell you how this feels
You’re everything to me
I want to tell you how this feels
I really want you to know
What it’s like to love you.

I hesitate to think of it
It all seems so surreal
But does it really matter
If I never even utter a breath

I bite my lip when I touch you
I close my eyes and hold my breath
I hope you feel as I do
Nothing else could matter quite like this

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