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Laurie Markvart's Diary

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The Same Body Carries It All

Note: I’ve narrated and recorded an audio version of this post, waiting for you at the bottom of the page. Listen on its own, or press play while you read along—your choice.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the strange, beautiful way our bodies carry us through life. This one body. Yes, I know we only get one body, obviously. And maybe that is the point?

But have you ever really, really thought about it for yourself? For your body?

What started this is that recently I looked at some photos from when I was in my 20s—the same age my son is now—and it struck me that this is the same body I’ve carried my whole life, from infancy, childhood, my teens, my 20s, 30s, 40s, and now my 50s. This body has seen me through so much, constantly regenerating, carrying me forward.

These are the same hands that once held my dad’s when I was a little girl and scared. The same hands that later held his hand when he was dying. The same hands that learned piano and picked up a guitar at 14—and still play today.

They’ve changed, of course—some deeper lines, age spots—but they’re still mine, moving with different energies through the years.

These are the same eyes too—the ones my mother gazed into when I was a baby, wondering who I’d be. The same blue of my eyes that has held my every joy, every loss, every moment of my life.

Have you ever thought about that with yours? It’s wild to realize this one body carries you through every experience.

Sometimes looking at an old photo feels like stepping into another lifetime, right? Back then I didn’t know what I know now. The smells, the sensations, the way I moved through the world back then—different. But still, the same body carried me. And yours has carried you too.

Maybe it’s like a car: you buy it new, it has that shine and “new” smell, but after you’ve driven it coast to coast it’s different. It smells like drive-through food, its seats worn, paint scratched, changed—but still the same car. And now it tells a story. That’s how the body feels. Have you ever really thought about what your body has carried you through and what stories it tells? That makes me think of aging.

Aging is something we need to embrace, because it’s proof that we’ve made it this far. We are winning!

As I get older, I see more lines in my face, more gray hairs, and sometimes instead of embracing them as proof of a well-lived life, I want my youthful appearance back—because I still have youthful aspirations I’d like to tackle. Quite honestly, they’re never going to happen. And that’s okay, because I have other opportunities that are better embraced with my current age.

So instead of thinking I need to look younger, I actually need to look exactly the way I am. But maybe I also hold onto youth because we live in a society—and I work in an industry—that is defined by it. I live in LA. I work in entertainment. And we do obsess over youth too much. I wish we didn’t—and I didn’t.

What we need to do is celebrate our elders, because they keep us in line. Our elders carry the knowledge that help us not repeat the same mistakes. My dad used to say, “The first moment we forget our history or mistakes, we repeat them.”

My body will carry me until it can’t anymore. And then it will be time for a new transition, one I believe will be extraordinarily beautiful.

Until then, I’m honoring this body for all it has done—survived, created life, endured, celebrated—and for how it still carries me through the lifelong journey of parenting and everything else.

This IS the same body that thrashed around on stage singing heavy metal music in my 20s. The same vocal cords that later in life would cry in grief, laugh in joy, and sing lullabies to my son—with the same heart that keeps beating for all of it.

These are the same feet that ran track in high school, skated on ice, walked in high heels and still do today! And the same lungs that took my first breath, sang every song, and have carried me through every moment up to today. When you think about yourself, I’m sure you have the same thoughts, now, right?

Aging is beautiful, but it’s also hard, complicated. My mind still feels youthful—curious, hopeful—and I want my body to match that energy, to never fail me. Pre-arthritic fingers crossed.

I’ve worked hard to keep my body strong, and still, bodies do exactly what they’re meant to do: survive, endure, change. They carry us through heartbreak and healing, love and loss, beginnings and endings. And they deserve to be honored in their aging—celebrated for the stories each year adds to them.

Because when you drive a car coast to coast, you can’t expect it to act like it’s on its first miles. But you give it extra care, extra love when it reaches milestones. Our bodies are no different. They deserve the same gratitude. And maybe, just maybe, this reminder is for you as much as it is for me.

© 2025 Laurie Markvart

“Should I Stay” – Lyrical Poem for the Day

Today, I’m sharing poetic lyrics of memory. Not sure when I’ll set the music but when that flows, I will.  If it doesn’t, then it’s just a poem.

My muse-in the past. Gone. But I still look for her. The needs of a daughter do not disappear with the departed. Nor do the issues of why she drove me crazy or why I loved her so much.

Today, poetic lyrics. Getting it out, letting it flow and being in THIS moment. Someday, acceptance. Just not today. And that is okay ’cause I can’t go back, and I certainly can’t jump forward. And sorry to say, this applies to all of us. Unless you have a time machine. And if you do, DM me. I’d love to hear about it. xo

#bepresent, #beintheflow, #beinthemoment

Should I stay
 Should I walk away
 Does it pay to know how you feel

Should I stay
 Should I lie down next to you
 Cry for a while

Memories, you and me
 Blanket my mind
 Tell me I should run, hide

But I look at you
 And I see what you do
 And I know for now, I’ll stay

Should I stay
 Give us another day
 I can’t breathe for you

Should I stay
 Give it more time to play
 In my head, broken, astray 
 But today, I’ll stay

©Laurie Markvart

Change. Embrace It? Steer It? Challenge It? or Just Get the Hell out of the Way. You Do Have a Choice.

I’m going through some changes and trying to figure stuff out. Yup, me and every one of you is too. Daily. Big ones, small ones. But let’s keep this about me. Okay, kidding. Yes, this is for all of us. But I need to talk about my quest to understand change and then if it resonates with you…please throw it back to me with a comment, and by all means, give me a great quote on change ’cause if I know one thing…there are never enough quotes on the subject!

If you Google “sayings about change” you have 20,500,000 results to play with. Goodreads alone has 4,597 quotes. There are pages dedicated to “awesome quotes,” “life changing quotes,” “inspiring quotes” and naturally they are supportive and positive. I didn’t find too many pages on “nasty quotes” or “go f yourself quotes” or “you suck quotes.” Those would actually be quite funny. Please share if you’ve found some!

Quotes about change are meant to uplift and elevate you and by all means…make you feel you are not alone. And sometimes they do ’cause you think okay…if someone else is saying it they must be feeling it too. And they probably are but, when it comes to you and your experience just like me and mine…we are alone on the deepest level when it comes to change. A quote ain’t gonna get you out of it. It might make you think differently or approach it differently which is great but believe me…no one is holding your hand. More on that debilitating thought in a second…

During my Google search, I must admit the one page I clicked on was “30 Famous Quotes About Change” because if ecosalon.com has narrowed it down to thirty, they’ve done the work for all of us! Of course, quotes are from famous poets, writers, philosophers, even Confucius! I mean if Confucius said: They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom. Well, we must concur, yes? I mean, I’m not going to question Confucius. Actually, there are some lovely quotes within the 30 but by the time I got to the bottom of the page to the last quote by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow – For, after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining is let it rain. I thought…oh hell, really?!  I didn’t realize we had an option on rain?! But yes, I get the metaphor. And it’s true! But after that, I decided enough of the quotes. As well, I was then distracted by what came next on ecosalon’s page:  ALSO CHECK THESE OUT: 30 Best Quotes About Sex. I was SO curious, but I did NOT click and go down that rabbit hole. But if YOU want to, here’s the page: http://ecosalon.com/30-best-quotes-on-change/

Okay, back to change and my debilitating comment about how we are alone on the deepest level when it comes to change. But you see, it’s not debilitating nor sad but actually kinda cool if approached openly, and no I’m not going to provide a quote here. Just state my own feelings…if we understand that change is not necessarily about what has happened but how we react to it and that we are the masters and in the driver’s seat (you can only have ONE driver) then we have a choice. The choice is not the change itself but how we react to it. Because even if we make the change…we still need to respond to it! And that is what it’s all about.

Change can come like a nasty curveball. I can decide to dodge it, get hit by it (not always a choice) or catch it and throw the damn thing back. I own how I react to change. And yes, change can also be the most blessed warm and lovely moment in life in which YOU chose to make. But you still must react to it! In my life, many times I’ve wanted change. I chose love, I chose to have a baby (talk about a change! And the two people involved (yes, we who “made” said baby)…we both reacted differently to that change!), I chose to make a significant career change. These are all beautiful things, and they changed me, and I continue to react to them!

But in stark comparison to the beautiful changes, I’ve also had some nasty curveballs. I didn’t choose to lose a baby (not the same one mentioned above!), lose my parents or lose my marriage or endure heartbreak in which I thought I would never recover. THESE are the life altering ones that over the years started my quest for quotes on change; change that is so large it shifts your consciousness and total being. But I realized with each quote I found they filled my head with words but made only a small dent on my heart. Maybe if I read more quotes, it would fill my heart? No, what I realized is I need to start reacting to the change and take action. Make a choice. While I’m alone on “my” journey, reading quotes, reaching out to friends, writing music, loving and being loved and talking it out…all help. But the most assistance is to recognize I am in the driver’s seat and I can make a choice on how I REACT to all the changes. With that knowledge, I feel a lot better. I’m not a victim, nor a victor. I am the navigator.

So, thank you, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. I may not be able to stop the rain, but I learned I can choose to find an umbrella or say screw it…I’m going to dance in the rain.

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